Once upon a time, in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, we managed to send a man to the moon, invent the internet, and develop a vaccine in less than a year. And yet, somehow, we’re still completely unhinged about… public bathrooms.
Yes, folks, welcome to the American culture war that just won’t flush itself away.
At the heart of this grand national tantrum is the burning question: Who gets to pee where? For reasons still unclear to rational human beings, the idea of a transgender person using a public restroom that aligns with their gender identity has become a battleground for morality, politics, and performative outrage.
You’d think we were debating something complicated, like tax reform or climate policy. But no. We’re shouting in school board meetings and passing legislation over toilets.
Let’s be honest: nobody actually likes public bathrooms. They’re the last place anyone wants to spend more time than absolutely necessary. Nobody’s throwing on their best outfit and heading to the local Target bathroom to make a political statement. People go in, do their business, and get out. That’s it. That’s the plot.
But somehow, bathrooms have become the symbol of everything certain factions fear about progress, change, and the acknowledgment that—gasp!—not everyone fits into tidy gender boxes stamped in blue and pink. Some folks have decided that protecting children now means regulating who can urinate where, while simultaneously doing very little to actually protect children from real harm like gun violence, poverty, or underfunded schools. But hey, priorities.
The irony? The same people losing their minds over inclusive bathrooms have never actually experienced an issue sharing a bathroom with a trans person—because odds are, it’s already happened, and they didn’t even notice. And why would they? Trans people are just people. They’re not lurking in stalls waiting to pounce. They’re just trying to pee in peace.
Meanwhile, this ridiculous obsession wastes time, money, and energy that could be spent solving actual problems. Homelessness. Healthcare. Climate change. Economic inequality. But nah. Let’s argue about who can use the stall next to us.
We should be better than this. Other countries are. Europe and other continents figured this out ages ago. Unisex bathrooms? Nobody cares. It’s almost as if treating people with respect and minding your own business is a viable option.
Imagine if America put as much effort into compassion and critical thinking as it does into bathroom policing. We might actually become the great nation we keep telling ourselves we are.
But until then, here we are: red-faced in the culture war trenches, waging battle over where someone else takes a leak.
Grow up, America. It’s just a bathroom.